Balancing Me in 2023
BALANCE. Such a tricky word to live out. I mean, is there even such a thing? By definition, balance is considered the even distribution of a thing. You know, like 50/50. Ha! In real life, it’s more like the art of managing multiple competing priorities with hopes of keeping a thing stable and centered. And in extreme cases, the goal may be to just keep the thing from crashing or falling apart.
Balance is very much tied to a person, specific situation, and surrounding circumstances. So at times, it may be 50/50. At times, it may be 30/70. At times, it may even be 0/100. There’s no magic formula to achieving this mystery balance. There is, however, a key way of living that leads one to discover their unique flow. Let’s take a look at these steps with a real-life example below.
Backstory: This past week, the first week of the year, was very productive for me. I accomplished a lot, which made me feel all good inside. But I must also acknowledge that I could’ve done a better job of balancing my being versus my doing. Since I’ve come to know the importance of both, I can no longer place all my bets solely on what I can do. (For a quick catch up on that topic, be sure to check out last week’s post The Unemployed Entrepreneur.) Anyway, let’s get into these steps:
1. Identify the areas of desired balance.
Example: Being & Doing. Spending time on the inner me and focusing on my output.
2. Do the areas of desired balance complement one another? If so, in what way?
Example: Yes! Focusing on being leads me in my doing. When the two are aligned, my doing refuels my being. It’s a beautiful cycle when done properly but an imbalanced, empty space of time when out of synch.
3. Could the areas of desired balance potentially conflict with one another? If so, in what way?
Example: Unfortunately, yes. Being without doing defeats the purpose of life. I have to actively do what God has created me to do. However, doing without being is rooted in self with no acknowledgement of who God has created me to be or why. So consequently, my heart, motives, energy, and attitude are all at risk of being off base when there is no balance.
4. If conflict occurs, which area should supersede?
Example: Oooo, that’s a hard decision. At this point, I think they’re equally important because I have the ability to do both well. If it ever came to a point that I absolutely had to choose, focusing on my being would have to be the priority.
5. Based on what I know about myself and my track record, which area tends to supersede?
Example: Well, way to put myself out there! (LOL) I must say I’ve come a long way, but doing stuff (well) is definitely my thing. So knowing that, I have to intentionally make space for my being.
6. What changes can I make to reflect the balance I desire?
Example: Ironically, the biggest change would be how I spend my time in other areas - going to bed on time, limiting my time on social media, maximizing my free time. Now that I’m aware, I can make adjustments.
1. Go to bed by 10:30pm.
2. Spend no more than 2.5 hours on social media across all platforms (10% of my day) whether for personal or business.
3. My free time must start with personal development if I haven’t already made time for it earlier in the day.
7. Am I willing to live this way and take on the sacrifices that come along with it?
Example: Absolutely! I’m going to ride this thing on out. I know the consequences of imbalance in this area a little too well and I’m not interested in circling back there.
The example is about being versus doing, but the discovery steps can be applied to anything – work/life, family time/me time, spending/budgeting. I know this may seem a bit overkill, but just hear me out and give it a try. So many times, we’re off balance because we make decisions in hast, we make decisions based on emotions, or we just go with the flow. It’s time out for that! We have to train our minds and emotions to follow our lead.
Now, life is still going to happen. Our human flaws are going to peek through from time to time, but the above framework will help you get it right more times than not. And when we have those moments of imbalance, we can reflect, adjust, and jump back in.
Try it out over the next week and let me know how it impacts your world. And of course, a little truth, love, and grace are a must.